The first few weeks after coming home from the NICU were rough with both boys. Their medical equipment and needs were overwhelming. And I was only taught a few times how to use it before they sent us on our way.

Something I recommend to anyone coming home with medical supplies from the hospital is to get an in-home nurse. I never got one. They always asked me, but I refused. It was a pride thing. I wanted to figure it out on my own. But that led to some unnecessary stress.

My first son Nicholas had a feeding pump for a G-tube. There were times when his food would leak out of the tube. Other times when I would type in the wrong settings, so the rate was supposed to be the volume and vice versa. Sometimes I would forget to unclip the tube and he wouldn’t get fed at all.

My second son Daniel came home with an ostomy bag. Most of my struggles with him were just trying to get the bag to stick to his skin. There was poop everywhere. Poop, poop and more poop. We ruined a lot of outfits and bed sheets. There were days when I was changing his bag every hour, when it should have been every two to three days. I watched so many videos online about how other people would change ostomy bags. His skin would get irritated from changing it so much.

Eventually, I got both of them down to a science. But there were days when we were all crying. And it probably would have been so much better if I would have agreed to an in-home nurse. I was too prideful back then when it came to asking for help. And now I have no problem, nor shame in seeking guidance. I definitely need it and that’s OK. I imagine the nurse could have shown me some of their tricks and given advice on how to do things easier or better. And possibly how I could make my kids more comfortable.

And then remembering to order more supplies was hard on top of everything else. With Nicholas, I thought they would resupply monthly on their own. Turns out I had to call them. I used the same bag for multiple days in a row, while I waited for his next shipment to arrive. Of course, I’d wash it, but they give you enough bags for 30 days.

For Daniel, I ran out of his bags within a few weeks, instead of a month, and the home care company doesn’t ship more before the month ends. Luckily, the hospital would send me some those first few months, but that didn’t last long.

Because Daniel’s skin would get so irritated, I had to take him to wound care at the hospital. They were good at showing me how to care for his site. They also gave me some extra bags until mine were sent to us. They showed me a simpler way of getting the bags to stick. I was actually doing extra steps that weren’t necessary.

Fortunately, with Grace we already knew how to use her equipment. She’s been the easiest transition so far, because her pump is exactly like Nicholas’s pump.

I learned it’s OK to bring in other people for help. Being prideful caused me a lot of stress. Having a nurse at my house showing me how to do things would have been so nice. If I ever have to learn anything new for my kids, I will definitely agree to an in-home nurse. Because not only do I want to be good with their medical needs, but also avoid messing up anything along the way.