I used to think the number of years Steve and I dated was way too long. We were together for four years before we got married, and we were out of college for half that time. I didn’t understand what was taking so long, because I knew for a long time I wanted to marry Steve.

We weren’t married for too long before we started having kids. Less than a year in fact. We didn’t have too much time where it was just us as a married couple before we started our family. Up until a couple of months before our wedding, I wanted it to just be Steve and me for a couple of years so we could do whatever we wanted before having kids.

But then I realized that’s what we were already doing. We had already spent four years building that foundation for our relationship and, eventually, marriage. If we weren’t dating with the idea of marriage in the future, then what were we even doing for the last four years together?

Steve and I were best friends. We got along really well with each other and were very compatible. We were both easy going and had the same interests including our faith. We didn’t need to spend another few years just us. It was time to add something else into our relationship.

I now believe those four years before marriage were incredibly important for us. We spent a lot of time together and truly enjoyed being with one another. That is one thing that hasn’t changed between us. We still very much appreciate each other’s company.

This year we’re celebrating 7 years of marriage. I have no idea how we would have made it this far without that foundation we built beforehand, especially since we had kids so early in our marriage.

They call the 7-year wedding anniversary the “seven-year itch.” It’s suppose to signify the time period when married couples start to disagree with each other more, lose interest in what used to be shared activities, and have less affection, ultimately becoming dissatisfied with the relationship. Essentially, the couple starts to get bored.

Steve and I definitely had some rough patches in the beginning. The financial and emotional stress from our kids being in the hospital so much caused some turmoil. Sometimes we had to put our children first ahead of our marriage, because they needed so much attention. The isolation we felt from how different our life was compared to other families overcame us.

Somehow we learned how to cope with all those things. We learned they are just part of our life now. We still have medical bills, and feel stressed about certain things. Our hard times have never been because we didn’t love each other. It’s because we didn’t know how to manage all of our stressors.

Also, I’m not sure Steve and I could ever be bored of each other. There’s always something going on in our family. For half of our marriage, I was pregnant and having kids. The other half has been job changes, moving, and furthering our education. All in 7 years. We like to be kept on our toes, which is why our marriage has only gotten stronger in the last few years.

Two years ago we promised to make our marriage a priority. We started doing different things together for dates like going to a comedy show and bowling. We participated in a one-day marriage retreat to help revive our relationship. We went on a vacation just the two of us that we desperately needed. The longer our marriage, the stronger we get.

During hard times I think back to the year we were engaged and remember how happy we were together. I remember how strong our friendship was and how compatible we were. We’re still all those things, but it’s just different now. That’s what helps get me through. I’ve always said that we’re stronger when we’re together. It’s still true 7 years later.